I was looking through my journal the other day and I found an entry from January that talked about a vision that The Lord had given me.
I was wake boarding and my knees were shaking and I was terrified. I was scared because I didn’t know when the waves were coming, because I wasn’t controlling the speed of the boat, and because I don’t even know how to wake board..
I was so terrified that I couldn’t enjoy the ride, I was just miserable.

I remember how scared I was after Ashley & David told me that I would be squad leading, it was almost crippling. I felt like I was being pushed of to the edge of a cliff and everyone that I loved and that supported me was being taken away and put in new roles on new teams leaving me out to dry. I was absolutely petrified, but I agreed to do it, I didn’t even really have an option.

And that’s the thing, if I feel that The Lord calls me to do something, then ill do it. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not, sometimes screaming through the whole thing.
It was like when we went shark cage diving last month, I didn’t want to go but I went because I thought that if I didn’t go then I would regret it.
So I went and I spent the whole trip minus about 10 minutes I was in the cage leaned over the side of the boat sharing my breakfast with the sharks. The guide had me get in the cage first because he said being in the water would help with the nausea, so reluctantly in I went.
This was seriously one of the most exhilarating things that I have ever done, the sharks come right up to the cage ready to attack the bait. I was completely terrified. I was trapped in this tiny cage with 5 other people screaming and puking and trying not to cry. Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome and I’m glad I did it, I’m just trying to paint a little picture of how scared and pathetic I really was.

I remember getting out of the cage and thinking, this is exactly how I live. I am following The Lord and living an exciting and adventurous life, but I’m terrified the whole time because I don’t fully trust him. It was like, I could see the problem but I didn’t know how to not be scared.

Last week I was talking to Samantha and wining about how scary the future is and how scared I am of what’s coming next. She took my shoulders and looked me in the eyes and said, ‘you are not fear. God has not given you a spirit of fear.’ And something clicked, I actually don’t have to be afraid, I can actually trust God.

We’ve been listening to a song called Oceans by Hillsong in worship and it sings about walking on the water. We were listening to it before school one day and God gave me a picture of myself, no walking, not running, but dancing on the water.

And I feel it, my spirit is light and I’m not afraid of anything coming my way. I know that The Lord has a plan and somehow, he’ll always keep me afloat. Not only is the fear gone, but I am really trusting The Lord, I really believe the things that he says and the promises he makes.

And now I’m inviting you,
come and dance on the water.
Life is really going to be okay.

I’m not worried.

For one of the first times in my life, I’m really actually not worried.

January was a good month, a really good month.

The ministry that we did in the bars and on the streets off Bangla Road was incredible. Some nights were hard & heavy, some nights were light & fun, but every night was full of hope.

The very fist night we went to Bangla as a group we struck up a conversation with a Swedish girl named Regina that was promoting a nightclub. After we told her what we were doing we asked if she wanted prayer and she said yes. Not only did she want us to pray for her, but she also wanted us to stand in a circle holding hands and then pray for her. That is quite a bold move in a place that is anything but Christian, and it didn’t stop there. Regina also wanted all of her friends to receive prayer as well, so we stood in that circle and prayed for one friend after the other. It’s almost comical if you can really picture this all happening.

That night really set the precedent for the month. We danced, we sang, we shouted, we ran, and we walked up & down Bangla Road, but most of all we boldly proclaimed Jesus’ name.

In our hearts and spirits we knew that our presence was making a difference on that road. We knew that God’s spirit was moving and he was reaching out to his kids that were caught in a very dark place.

But sometimes it was hard not to lose heart when we weren’t seeing any fruit and we were overwhelmed with all the evil.

Our last full week of ministry we all seemed to be a bit disheartened and so we asked God to show us fruit, to show us that our work was not being done in vein.

I stayed back that whole week and prayed with the rotating teams that were interceding for the girls who were out.

That Monday night we saw these clouds of light in the sky dancing and weaving in between the clouds and shooting from one part of the sky to another. We knew they could only be one thing, glory clouds. God’s glory was physically manifesting in the form of light.

So naturally we starting shouting and singing and praising Jesus and we asked him to send his glory over to Bangla Road. And just like that one of the clouds shoots off and disappeared into the distance.

When the girls came back from ministry that night they were covered in gold dust. Gold dust.

Gold dust on their faces, gold dust on their arms, gold dust on their hands.

This friends, is God’s glory physically manifesting.

And the best part is that it didn’t only happen Monday, but it happened every day that week.

This was God’s way of showing us that He is bigger, his glory is greater, and he is present in that place. Once you put that road in perspective with how big our God is, it doesn’t seem so overwhelming anymore.

Our last night ministering on Bangla we went to the beach at the end of the road and let off lanterns.

I am so thankful for what the Lord allowed me to be a part of in Phuket. It may not seem like we did much on Bangla Road, but we left a little hope and a whole lot of light in a very dark place. And even though I know I can’t save all the people I met there and I can’t heal them, I can let them go up to my dad who loves them more than I ever could and who can take care of them.

So I let them go, knowing that God’s glory is falling and his spirit is moving with or without me there.

He is always faithful.